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I will stay for myself.

by Tanatswa Estina.

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1.
There is So much here There's so much to be done Who could blame me if I let myself hold onto it? Onto the bright But that light isn't pure It has its... All my Kind are here A chance For harmony Who could blame me if I latch onto this? Onto the bright? I am Needed They put my mind at ease "You will be fed" That light isn't pure It has its That light isn't pure It has its That light isn't pure It has its conditions All the joy is fading Right before my eyes Between my hands And inside my heart All the joy is fading Right before my eyes Between my hands And inside my heart And inside my heart And inside my heart
2.
Don't know how to see myself as valuable Without doing something to 'earn' or 'prove' it I don't see myself as valuable As a piece of existence In the image of God Something intended I move on instinct Using convoluted equations To avoid pain and blame Can't sustain myself On being seen as good enough I'm losing my mind (I'm losing my mind) I'm losing my mind (Can't move, cannot hide) I'm losing my mind (Everything I've tried) I'm losing my mind (I'm losing my) Losing my Mind I am losing my mind (Cannot run, cannot hide) I am losing my mind (I am losing my mind) I am losing my mind (Cannot run, cannot hide) I am losing my mind (I am losing my mind)
3.
Set him on fire Breathe deeply Grey clouds to kiss my lungs Haggard stress to push out Lights up my mind, at least for while Set him on fire Breathe deeply How did something so simple Become so consuming Lights up my mind, at least for while Really have to figure this out I'm slowly losing grip Of the start And I can't see the end What was the trigger? I fell apart again Betray my health for My favorite lie He is not the reason Why I hold on I need to be free, but This feels like control, and Lights up my mind, at least for while Lights up my mind, at least for while Really have to figure this out Slowly losing grip Of the start And I can't see the end What was the trigger? I fell apart again Betray my health Betray myself for My favorite high Really have to figure this out Slowly losing grip of the start And I can't see the end What was the trigger? I fell apart again Betray my health for Betray myself for My favorite high My favorite lie My favorite high My favorite high My favorite My favorite
4.
Me & God. 04:33
My skin Is on fire and My heart's broken And breaking And breaking Frustrating Just to think And to breathe And to see, and to be I wish I was as pious As I thought I could be But I'm all out I've lost The end of my rope To mistakes, traitors And misfortune It hurts to trust You And I see Everyone's hurting Did you mean it When You gave me Your word? I rather not exist You sing a song for me That You wrote through the stars And I forget to worry Omniscient Yet, You Want to hear me I'm arrogant and overwhelmed You are Not afraid But I am. Yes. Holding my lungs How do You say Reverently? Do You not feel Everything burning? I don't want to exist You sing a song for me That You wrote through the stars And I forget to worry As I grow older I find I want blood Turns out I don't have Endless love You breathed air Shed blood Hold the pain Of a more patient righteous rage I don't want to exist You sing a song for me That you wrote through the stars And I forget Without regret Yes, I forget to worry
5.
Lovely! 02:42
When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part Hey! Hmmm... Hmmm Hey. How could you be so amazing Generous, kind, open minded Creative and simply marvelous You make life so lovely When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part So lovely Hey, How dare you? Hey! What's new What are you into What is life like, from your point of view I've got shoulders you can lean on dude You make life so lovely When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part Hey! So lovely How, how dare you? So lovely How, how dare you? Shake, shake, shake, shake Shake, shake, shake, shake So lovely Shake, shake, shake, shake Shake, shake, shake, shake So lovely My friends, do not have to Do-a-thing who they are, is simply glorious Their presence, reminds me, of God And I know, because we talk I am so glad, that you exist You make life so lovely When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part When we jam in the car When we talk near or far We're not joined at the hip but the heart. Never part Hey!
6.
You are the most thoughtless Thoughtful kind person I've ever met But I make moves darling I know what I want And I don't hold my breath I've bigger problems and Much bigger dreams Than my worry about Whether you like me Or understanding why you chose To handle things the way you did If this is friendship I don't know how you keep friends around Maybe we're all so cussing naive Cause if I'm honest I don't know why I keep cowards around You'd think I'd find this Disappointing Hey, did I stroke your ego Did my company keep you warm Did you revel in the afterglow Did you like the attention Chaser from coming off tour Did you revel in the afterglow Je ne regrette rien parce que Je suis qui je suis et This didn't leave an afterglow If this is friendship I don't know how you keep friends around Maybe we're all so cussing naive Cause if I'm honest I don't know why I keep cowards around You are just not that Disappointing You are the most thoughtless Thoughtful kind person I've ever met

credits

released October 21, 2022

Credits:
Lyrics, Music, Recording, Production, Mastering - Tanatswa Estina Tavaziva
Recording (Drums) - Megan Richardson
Photography - Nita in Nashville Photography (1,2,4,6,8,10,12,15), Captured by Lady Di Photography (5,7,11,13,16,17,18)
Artwork - Tanatswa Estina Tavaziva

Performances:
Guitar - Sarah Pearl Noel Eitel
Bass - Hezekiah 'Hezzie' Ephraim
Drums - Megan Richardson
Acoustic Guitar (Wes Anderson.), Electric Drums (Lovely! & Wes Anderson.), Vocals - Tanatswa Estina Tavaziva

Acknowledgements:
I will stay for myself. is dedicated to Queen Hazel Kamupira & Lamatresa Morris. Thank you God for provision, courage, anger, hope, therapy, perspective and all these lovely people: Traneshia, Sarah, Kayla, Christina, Deleah, Holly, Dr. Abena, Tyler & Leah, Faith, Corrie, Hezzie, Megan, Yemurai, Amber, Jasmine, and The Sutphen Small Group

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Tanatswa Estina. Nashville, Tennessee

Tanatswa Estina. is a Nashville based singer-songwriter-producer known for her dynamic live performances, rock & soul melodies, and existential lyricism.

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